Does Dating in New York Suck or Is It Just You?

By Roevin- Marri Geronimo

Art by Rachel Genito

New York City is bustling with millions of people from different cultures who hold stories just as unique and beautiful as the last. You could meet a potential lover by walking down the street, at a cafe, or whatever meet-cute Netflix tells us we’d experience. However, New Yorkers have stated that dating in the city is nearly impossible. Many find their schedules filled with personal projects, school, or however many jobs needed to keep up with the city’s rising rent. In this day and age, I have noticed a lack of in-person meet-cutes. Is this due to a fear of rejection? A fear of being perceived as creepy or even cringe? With the rise of technology love and lust can be found elsewhere. 

Dating apps like Tinder, Hinge, and Bumble advertise themselves as a “one-stop shop.” With the rise of dating apps, casual relationships are now more accessible and common because in a city of millions why familiarize yourself with one person when you can meet everyone? From an upcoming model just a mile away to a DJ from Bushwick. New York is at your fingertips. 

Not getting the results you want? Don’t worry. For the price of $16.99 a week plus your dignity, a Hinge+ subscription allows you to send unlimited likes and reveals the profiles of those in your likes. Still not working? Don’t worry, keep renewing your subscription! Spend more money, and see better results! 

In 2023, walking into any subway station in the city, you’d find Tinder ads displayed on the walls of the station and up in each train car. In bright lettering, they’d read, “Realizing you’re not dead inside.” “Someone to go to heaven with.” I questioned whether dating apps even worked. When asked about their experience with dating apps, a Pratt student mentioned, “[It’s] Addictive and malicious. I feel constantly like it is the way to get validation the easiest, yet I’m regularly made to feel awful…I definitely recognize hierarchies of attractiveness and I have learned where I am being intentionally excluded and am not one to try and date someone more attractive than me, which was maybe not the case before being on apps in NYC.” 

I knew more people who found more success in finding a partner on Twitter than the supposed “dating” apps themselves. All Tinder and Hinge left me with was heartbreak, sexual trauma, and a story about how a trans-femme DJ did whippets before and after sex, moments after we bonded over how we both stopped smoking cigarettes. Unless you’re looking for something casual or a one-night stand, dating apps just don’t seem to work. 

Despite this, modern dating has also taught me the difference between being with someone who wants to be in a relationship and being with someone who wants to be with you. 

Don’t walk away from this piece thinking you may never find love but with the question: Are you looking for love in the right places and for the right reasons?